Relatedness: Informational Article on Catherine Ryan Hyde's "The Man Who Found You in the Woods" -Brandon Dellario LMSW LASAC

In the story, “The Man Who Found You in the Woods,” A man named Nathan finds a newborn baby under some leaves while duck hunting with his dog. He brings the boy to the hospital and thinks about adopting him.
Later, the boy (Nat) is returned to his Grandmother and lives his first 15 years with her. When he becomes too much for his Grandmother to handle, he is sent to live with Nathan. 

Nat asks Nathan why he doesn’t want to know why he was thrown out of the house. Nathan tells him, “. . . I thought it best if we start fresh with each other.”(Hyde, pg. 44) He goes on to tell Nat that he is happy to have him there, despite Nat’s uncomfort. Nathan makes the transition for Nat as easy as possible while answering his fearful questions. Doing this he provides an opportunity for Nat to form relatedness with him, which is an, “innate capacity and need to form attachments with others.”(Henry, 9/11/08)

The nature of Nat’s new living situation with Nathan is a big change. Nat is use to running wild which may be the result of a damaged attachment to his mother, and thoughts of her leaving him in the woods. Nathan provides some loving encouragement and discipline for Nat and his growth. When Nathan tells Nat that he must behave like a civilized person, Nat aims a shotgun at him and says, “I’ll shoot you down before you make me into something I’m not.”(Hyde, pg. 45) Nathan sticks to his convictions, Nat lowers the gun and Nathan tells him, ”All you’ve probably needed all this time was someone who cared enough to insist that you behave.” Nathan shows himself to have the competence Nat needs in teaching him to become a man. Competence being, “ ‘success’ in the environment (efficacy). Being effective to influence, learn and explore environment.”(Henry, 9/11/08) Nathan provides an atmosphere of sanctuary which aids Nat in his recovery, and growth into a man.

Nat has had no personal power or freedom to choose, part of his dysfunction is being a byproduct of a bad environmental condition. His perception of ability to self-direct has been deflated by his troubled relatedness in attachments. He tells Nathan that it makes him feel bad that his mother and grandmother abandoned him. Nathan helps him to look at his own actions in his relationship with his grandmother, while also showing him unconditional love as his spiritual guide. This is a good, “match between the person [Nat] and the environment, which is a function of both (goodness of fit).”(Henry, 9/11/08) However, Nat had only been with Nathan for a short while. It takes much longer, sometimes a lifetime to heal from the kind of issues Nat deals with in his struggles.

Finally, Nat retreated to his negative actions and tries to establish dominance by robbing a gas station at gunpoint. Nathan visits him in jail and tells him that he will have to stay there, attend his hearing and pay for what he has done. He visits him every visitor's day. Nat shows Nathan some warmth by thanking him for the gifts of his baby’s cap and baseball mitt. When a security guard asks Nathan why he has helped out Nat for so long, Nathan replies, “What else have I done with my life that’s remarkable?”(Hyde, pg. 46) Nathan had found his own relatedness and goodness of fit in his relationship with Nat, long after the death of his wife and trusted hunting dog Sadie.

"The Man Who Found You In The Woods" story is posted @ the following URL:
http://peopleandstories.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/manwhofoundyouinthewoods_mn.pdf

Hyde, C. (2001). THE MAN WHO FOUND YOU IN THE WOODS. The Sun, 41-46.

Henry, J. (2008). SWRK 6310 Lecture Notes. Western Michigan University, September 11, 2008.
*The premise of this paper was developed by Dr. James Henry.